


The belonging you seek

by CallMeAlessandra



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Bendemption, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Happy Ending, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren/Rey - Freeform, Married Sex, Post-Canon Fix-It, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey (Star Wars) is a Mess, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo wedding, Sad with a Happy Ending, Soulmates, TROS Fix-It Fic, TROS spoiler, reylo marriage, space babies in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:48:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21875425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallMeAlessandra/pseuds/CallMeAlessandra
Summary: “Ben, wake up!”His cheek stung and slowly, he opened his eyes. This… what… where was he?“There he is.” Came the voice once again.He saw a tiny figure by his side, but he couldn’t make out a face. Slowly his vision returned to normal and a face, old and orange and with beady and wise eyes stared down at him.“You have been gone long enough, my boy.”The war is over and won, but at what cost? Rey lost everything, the other half of her soul, but did she really? After all, no one is ever really gone...*Continuation of TROS - beware of spoilers! Fix it-fic!*
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 85
Kudos: 441





	1. Apart

**Author's Note:**

> See further info at the end, beware this is a contiuation of TROS and will contain spoilers!

_The belonging you seek_   
_Chapter 1_   
_Apart_

Rey stared into the setting twin suns. She hated this, hated the never-ending circle of torture. By day, she could fix things and by night, she was forced to relive her greatest loss. First, she had started to work on the old machines on Luke’s desolated moist farm. She knew she would never make those machines work again. She didn’t care if they would work for anyone else in the future. She just needed to do something, _anything_ really, to keep the memories at bay, at least for a bit. She hurt, everywhere. Her body hurt, her heart hurt and her soul? Her soul had been torn apart into two pieces with Ben’s death. So, when she couldn’t bear the feeling of hurting, sheer and utter hurting unlike anything she had ever felt before, she started to fix whatever type of machine she found. When she had repaired all the machines she found on the farm, she turned to other homes in need of help. Some good people on Tatooine had offered her money, she had declined every time. She wasn’t interested in money. She just needed to keep her mind off her loss. The loss of her other half, her _soulmate_. The horror of her origins. This strategy worked good as long as the sun was high in the sky, when Rey wouldn’t be ushered off the properties in time for dinner. Then, she had to return to the cold, empty house she currently existed inside. She wouldn’t call it living. She wasn’t calling it home. Her home had been taken from her in exchange for her own life and it was the greatest punishment she could think of. What a cruel, singular whim of fate it truly was. For one, excruciating and terrifying moment Rey had everything. Ben, in her arms, alive and smiling just seconds before he had been taken away from her. His smile, so bright and true was haunting her. It followed her and when she closed her eyes, it was all right there with her.

“Oi, girl!” A tall man with broad shoulders, almost as broad as Ben’s had been, marched through the sand towards her. “You have to leave now, sun’s setting. Here.”

He let his hand slide into the pocket of his trousers and offered her a little pouch. “For your work.”

She stared at the pouch and shook her head vigorously. “I don’t want-,”

“Money.” He finished the sentence for her. “I know, but you need food on the table, too. You’ve been working on this thing-,” he tapped the water pump with his foot. “For two days.”

Rey didn’t want it. She would rather work another four days on the pump than taking money, or worse, end up without anything to work on. The farmer made an impatient noise and ushered her up onto her feet, taking her bag into his own hand and held it out towards her, not hostile but he made his point clear.

“The sun won’t set for another hour, can I-,”

“No.” He said firmly. “You can work on it tomorrow if you want and the day after. When you’re finished, we find something else for you, but you’re done for today.”

With a sigh, she took the bag from him and the pouch, putting the tools back into the box.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, then.” She said toneless and turned around, making her way towards the sand bike, she had found desolated in the sand the day she had arrived on Tatooine.

“I don’t know why the girl who saved the whole galaxy chose Tatooine to hide from the world, but I know what keeps you up at night.”

Rey froze and at his words, she blinked away the tears that stung in her eyes. She looked over her shoulder. “I can stay away if you want-,”

“No, that’s not what I want.” His voice was less gruff, almost understanding. “And I know it’s not what you want. So, you can come back here and fix whatever needs to be fixed for as long as _you_ need it.” He huffed. “I know I needed that more than anything.”

“Will it ever stop?” She tried to keep her voice strong but failed miserably. “Will it ever get better?”

The farmer simply shrugged his strong shoulders. “No, and anyone who tells you it does, knows bantha shit about it. But you’ll learn to live with it.”

Rey simply shouldered her bag and made her way over to the sand bike. She swung her leg over it and didn’t look back.

She watched the two suns sink, while the sandstone in her back kept her from shivering in the cold. She knew the rapid temperature drop from the desert, it was the only familiar thing on this planet. Heat, sand and sun, three things she came to despise over her life and now it was the only way to find a little comfort. Two days, she had managed to stay with her friends before she had to leave. She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t eat or sleep. Rose was the first to go to her and told her to leave, to find her peace.

That had been six months ago, she hadn’t heard from them since. She hadn’t intended to stay on Tatooine for so long, but she simply couldn’t leave. She felt a strong connection to this land, the sand and the heat. Maybe it was because Anakin Skywalker had been born here or maybe because she just needed the seclusion of the wide planes of the desert around her, but deep down, she knew she hoped for Ben to appear in any form. She had seen and spoken to Luke and Leia multiple times and she hoped that their presence was what would make Ben appear, too. But he didn’t. She had never felt so alone. The feeling of gnawing emptiness she had felt after looking into the mirror on Ahch-To was nothing compared to what she felt now. The chirping of BB8 interrupted her dark thoughts and she looked up. He beeped expectantly. Rey shook her head. The mouthy droid rolled back a little only to take a run-up and hit her legs square, knocking her almost to the side.

Anger sparked inside of her but was quickly gone. “Don’t be ridiculous, BB8. I told you, you should have stayed with Poe.”

BB8 made a sound that was almost a little sigh and rolled back into the hut with a hanging head. Rey looked after him and rose to follow him to apologize, BB8 was certainly not a good outlet for her foul mood, when she felt a shift in the force. There was a warm, familiar presence behind her, and it was the only thing that soothed the pain inside of her a little for the time being. _Leia_.

Rey felt a hand settle on her shoulder and touched it. It was still a little strange. It was like touching a real hand, yet it was somehow vibrating. The sheer power it took to manifest through the force was tangible. Rey slowly turned around and was met by the shimmering body of Leia, the smile on her face was sad.

“Rey.”

Rey gave her old master an equally sad smile. “Master Leia.”

Leia’s ghost turned around and watched the last bit of daylight disappear behind the dessert and she gave off an almost sentinel glow, there in the dim light of dusk.

“It is beautiful, don’t you think?”

Rey looked at the last thread of red on the horizon, the fringed edges reminded her of Kylo’s old lightsaber. Rey couldn’t see the beauty her master saw in it, for her, fading daylight meant more pain, a piece of her torn and shredded soul that broke away, opening the wound inside of her further instead of closing it.

“You call yourself Rey Skywalker now, hm?”

“You are the only family I have ever known. You and-,”

“Ben.” Leia said, still looking ahead, her hands crossed behind her back.

Rey felt a lump form inside her throat when Leia said his name. No one else but her had said his name out loud in her presence. It felt like a knife between her ribs.

“Yes.” She whispered hoarsely. “And Ben.”

Rey knew that force ghosts would only stay if they had something to say, so she decided, before Leia could say it, she had to be faster.

“Where is he? Why can’t I see him like I see you or Luke?” Leia’s small, sad smile gave Rey no hope. “He won’t come back, am I right?”

Without any warning, Rey was pulled into a tight hug, like the one they had shared in the forest.

“No one is ever really gone, Rey. I am dead and I am here, aren’t I?”

They stood there for a long moment and when Rey looked up, Leia was gone. Then why wasn’t Ben here with her? She didn’t understand it.

_“Ben.”_

“ _Ben…”_ … Rey?

“ _Ben…”_ Han- no, _dad_.

“Ben.” Rey, where was she? She had been cold… so cold. The kiss, it couldn’t have been- no!

“ _Ben, my beautiful, brave boy…”_ Mother _. Mom._

“Ben.” A different voice. He didn’t know that voice, but it was familiar. A voice he heard as a child.

“Ben.”

There it was again. It couldn’t be imagination. He hadn’t heard voices in the place where he had been. It had been silent and warm and-,

“Ben, wake up!”

His cheek stung and slowly, he opened his eyes. This… what… where was he?

“There he is.” Came the voice once again.

He saw a tiny figure by his side, but he couldn’t make out a face. Slowly his vision returned to normal and a face, old and orange and with beady and wise eyes stared down at him.

“You have been gone long enough, my boy.”

Ben slipped back into the soothing darkness, and his last thought was of Rey.


	2. Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey understands why she can't see Ben with a Little help and Ben, well… read for yourself. ;)

_The belonging you seek_   
_Chapter 2_   
_Alive_   
  


Rey shot up from the restless sleep she had been in just a few seconds ago. Her heart was pounding hard and heavy against her ribcage and her hair, wet from sweat, stuck to her neck and temples. Something felt… different. She had felt it, a shift in the force almost like a combustion, deep within her. Rey couldn’t put her finger on it, she never felt something comparable. It wasn’t like the shift she felt when Leia or Luke appeared to her, this was something different. It wasn’t a disturbance, it wasn’t bad, it wasn’t another evil rising to threaten the new fragile peace. Rey looked around the room she slept in. It was dark and no sign of a force ghost, so, what made the force tremble like it did? What happened? She sat up straight and crossed her legs beneath the black fabric of Ben’s shirt, the last physical thing she had of him to hold onto. She centered her thoughts and concentrate. She slowed her breath and her heart and listened. The force was like a gentle stream of warmth within her tonight, unlike the torrent it usually was.

“Ben…” She reached out, tried to feel his presence. Nothing.

Rey opened her eyes and sighed heavily, while she rested her head on her knees. She knew it was useless. She tried countless times to contact him throughout the last six months. Every single day. She felt familiar tears sting in her eyes and wiped the tears furiously away.

“Young Solo you miss, poor child you.”

Rey’s head shot up from her knees. A blue shadow hovered by the end of her bed. The figure was tiny, smaller than a little child, with the strangest ears she had ever seen. His eyes, wise and with something mischievous in them, looked at her curious and his skin green. He was dressed in traditional jedi robes and his tiny hands, fingers tipped with blunt little claws, held onto a crooked wooden cane. The white tufts of hair on his head made him look a little… _unique_ , she couldn’t describe it in a different way. She knew him, she knew this legendary jedi master in front of her, if only through Luke and the memories he had given her.

“Master… Yoda?”

“Correctly you guessed, young Rey.”

He chortled gleefully and moved a little closer, his cane made dents in the bedding. He sat down next to her and studied her face.

“Much I have heard about you. Stubborn, you are.” He said with a hint of amusement in his voice. “But gentle at heart.”

“You seem to know much about me.”

He gave her a long, pointed stare, shaking his head after. “A long way you came, a way shaped by loneliness and loss. Mhm, heavy your heart is, feeling I can that. Skywalker, your chosen family name now is. So was my student, your old master. Stories you certainly must have heard from him.”

“I know you trained him, master Yoda. Luke was very fond of you.”

“As I was of him.” He laughed and stomped with his little feet in amusement. “A good student he never was. Too fast, too hectic, but open mind he had, nonetheless.”

“Master Yoda, can I ask you a question?” Rey sat up on her knees. Her fingers found the hem of Ben’s shirt that went to the middle of her thighs.

“Ask a question you certainly can, the answer I may have not.” The old master said thoughtfully.

“Why can’t I see him? Why isn’t he here, in the force? He gave his life in exchange for mine, he turned from the dark side and fought my grandfather together with me. Is he so unworthy-,” Rey had to stop for a moment, the words tasted like acid in her mouth. “My grandfather himself said we are one soul, neither of us can live while the other is dead, I just want to _see_ him. That is all I want.”

Yoda closed his eyes, pensive for a moment. “Hm, hmmm… No, no.” He shook his head slowly. “Actions of young Solo more than worthy they were. A force dyrad, you two are. Your grandfather, evil he was, but not wrong. Neither can live, when dead the other one is.” Yoda looked her in the eyes. “The answer, you gave yourself. The reason you can’t see young Solo, he simply is no part of the force yet.”

Rey’s heart jumped up into her throat. Hope, bright and burning like the sun broke free within her. Could it be? Was it truly possible?

“I saw his body vanish! I held his hand as he disappeared-,” Rey jumped up from the bed and started to pace up and down.

“Yet, here you are.” Master Yoda pointed out to her. “Impossible, said it yourself, haven’t you?”

Rey whirled around. “Master Yoda-,” He was already gone.

“Kriff!”

In sheer frustration she kicked the bedpost and was paid with blinding pain, as she stubbed her little toe.

Ben concentrated on his legs as he slowly rose from the bed he had been laying in since he had woken up two days ago. Even though his body looked as healthy as it had before, he still couldn’t feel his limbs completely. It had taken a lot of concentration and effort to eat the breakfast without spilling it everywhere. Maz didn’t trust his body enough to stomach anything but light food yet, so his usual breakfast consisted of dry bread and oat flakes. Today, Ben was determined to finally put his legs to the test. He could close his fingers already and was able to sit straight without getting dizzy. Maz was content with his progress. Ben already felt a light sheen of sweat on his skin, he concentrated hard on the muscles in his legs. First the right one, then the left one. His feet touched the cool ground and he flexed his toes. So far, so good.

Slowly, he used the strength in his arms, if one could call it ‘ _strength’_ compared to what he had been capable to lift before, to push himself off the bed. For a moment, Ben lost his balance and almost fell, but managed to catch himself before his knees hit the floor. He was completely out of breath, but he was standing. The four steps he walked to reach the mirror by the end of the bed felt like he had just sprinted a thousand miles.

Ben stared at his chest. The scars of countless battles were gone. Vanished. Mysteriously healed by the force. He looked stronger. His chest, muscular before his death already, looked more defined and his biceps were somehow bigger. The muscles of his stomach rippled beneath his skin. His thighs… force! He looked like he hadn’t been dead but instead spent the time in a boot camp. The force had given him the ultimate form of his body.

“You can stand.” Came Maz’s voice from the doorway behind him and Ben met her eyes in the mirror. “Very good.”

She walked into the room and came to stand beside him. “You are getting stronger every day, don’t overdo it.”

Ben could already feel the energy drain from him and allowed her to lead him back to the bed. With a groan, he fell into the soft pillows. Once he settled back, Maz brought the tablet with his food over and set it down.

“Eat and rest. Tomorrow, you’ll be stronger.”

Maz patted his cheek and turned around to leave him alone, but Ben’s voice stopped her.

“How long was I gone, Maz?”

The former pirate-queen hesitated a second as if she wasn’t sure if he should hear the story or rather not. She opted for ‘ _take the risk’_. She turned around, her round glasses on her head. Ben hadn’t had much time to study her during these past few days. His mind and body were too busy getting used to being back. Whatever she was thinking or feeling around him, she hid it well or he was just miserable at reading her.

Maz grabbed a chair and pulled it up to the side of his bed, putting her feet up comfortably.

“Six months, almost seven in a few days.”

Six months. _Six fucking months…_ The realization that he left Rey alone for six whole months drove an icy dagger straight through his chest.

“Maz, Rey died. She died and I gave her my life force. I know I was dead. I remember this place-,” Ben closed his eyes, but when he tried to conjure the pictures in his head, he only saw white light. He could remember the warmth and silence, but nothing more. “How can I be alive?”

Maz’s smile didn’t reach her sad eyes. “It was your mother, Ben. The moment you died her body vanished before my eyes. She held onto the last bit of her own life force, to give it to you. Even in death, you were all she thought of.”

A lump formed in his throat, thick and suffocating. “That foolish woman.” He closed his eyes and sent a prayer filled with love and gratitude to wherever his mother was now.

Maz wiped away a stray tear. “Indeed, but she never stopped believing in you, Ben. It was her greatest wish. Your happiness.”

“And Rey? Is she alright, where is she?” The question burst out of him like water out of a fountain.

“Ben-,”

“Is she alright? Force, I must find her! Maz, I swear to all that’s holy, if something happened to her because of me-,”

“Ben!” Sternly, she put her hand on his mouth, successfully shutting him up. “Calm down. Take a deep breath before you faint again.”

With difficulties, he did. He inhaled and exhaled, once, twice… Maz lifted her hand away from his mouth.

“Good. To answer your questions, I don’t know where she is. No one has seen her since Exogol, she left the resistance and hasn’t, at least to my knowledge, informed anyone where she is.” Maz shrugged her shoulders helplessly. “I’ve heard of a rumor she was seen on Tatooine.”

Tatooine? What on earth was she doing on Tatooine?

“Maz, she thinks I’m dead-, I left her all alone for six months.” His voice grew louder with each word, anger and worry laced through each word.

“Ben, calm down.” She placed a hand onto his shoulder and with surprising strength, pressed him back into the pillows. “I know, Ben. I know you want to get back to her as soon as you can-,”

“She needs me, Maz!” He shouted and tried to push up against her hand, but Maz held him still where he was. “I need to go to her, she is all alone, _again_!”

“Ben, you can’t travel right now, you’re still way too weak.” Maz tried to knock some sense into him, while she still pushed don against his shoulder. “You came back two days ago, give yourself a little time. You need it. Think about her, Ben. Think about how Rey would feel, knowing you came back and died of exhaustion because you couldn’t wait two more days.”

Ben hit the mattress in sheer frustration, then sunk back into the pillows. “Two days.”

Two more days…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I cannot explain the sheer relief I felt as soon as I started to write this story… I mean, two chapters in two days? Damn, these two really want to drive me insane. I am so happy I can give other reylos a little happiness, too. I feel it myself, it’s just strange… anyways, I’m so thankful for all your amazing reviews!  
> Leave me a comment and tell me what you think, how do you feel? Are you guys a little better now? I really want to know, because I was really sad about some things I read on Tumblr and here in the comment section about people not able to cope well for the past few days. Share your thoughts and feelings! <3  
> I don’t know if I’ll be able to upload before the Christmas days, so just in case, I wish you all a merry Christmas! - Xoxo Alessandra!


	3. Awaited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is frustrated and so is Ben...

_The belonging you seek_   
_Chapter 3_   
_Awaited_   
  


Sheer frustration was her drive the morning after her conversation with master Yoda. She wanted to scream or destroy something, anything really, and how dearly she now wished for one of those damned training droids. She drove the pipe harder into the ground until the water came bubbling to the surface. She closed the leak, connected the pipe to the generator and wiped her grease-stained hands on a dirty towel. The disruption in the force she had felt yesterday hadn’t repeated and Ben hasn’t appeared, so it didn’t matter.

Sometimes she thought that her death, the reveal of her true parentage and Ben’s death combined, took its toll on her force sensitivity. She had problems concentrating, she couldn’t meditate correctly and fighting? Every move was sluggish, her forms were messy and far from her former level. She heard Luke’s condescending voice, scolding her but Rey furiously shut him out during training. She didn’t want to hear his advice right now - she simply couldn’t stand it. Deep down, she was angry. Angry at the force, and angry at the universe altogether. She had been loved, so very much that her parents gave their own lives to save hers, she had been discarded on Jakku and was left to believe no one wanted her. She found friends, she found a cause in life and then, there was Kylo Ren. Later, he became Ben Solo to her. Her life consisted of broken opportunities and now, she had the feeling her life consisted of nothing.

During her short, sweet kiss with Ben – her Ben – she had envisioned her life from then on. She saw herself as a wife and a mother. On Jakku, pregnancy was unthinkable. Being a mother, it would have meant to either starve herself even more than she already had done or watch her child die. No, becoming a mother had never been on her mind like that, but within Ben’s arms, it was painfully close. It had been taken from her, snatched from beneath her fingertips

She glared angrily at her fingers, still dark from the grease. She cursed loudly and threw the pliers into the desert with a cry. All her pain and the pent-up anger within her, Rey knew it was dangerous territory to walk on. That was the way to the dark side. She was predestined for that path and it scared her. No, it terrified her. Ben would have been able to help her, to balance her. It was the one thing she understood about their bond since Ben had died. They had balanced each other to a point where both were in the grey, neither white nor black. Now, she was unbalanced and _alone_. She would have given everything she had – even her powers – to just _be_ with Ben. If someone would offer her the choice, be a jedi or be with Ben, she would always choose the latter.

“Excuse me, Miss Rey.”

A timid voice behind her said and Rey whirled around. She hadn’t even sensed the boy behind her. He was the farmer’s son, a small boy who reminded Rey of herself as a little kid. Skinny with long limbs, tanned skin from the sun and freckles. He was swaying from one foot to the other nervously.

“Um, my dad told me to bring you this.”

He thrust his arm up with a bottle of water in his hand, which she took. She greedily drank the cold water, but saved a bit for later, knowing that she wouldn’t leave the desert heat for the next few hours.

“Thank you, Jacub.”

She turned away from him and resumed her work on the pipe and pulled the pliers she had thrown into the desert, back to her hand. The gasp behind her made her turn around again. Jacub was still standing behind Rey, fidgeting with the hem his tattered brown shirt. Rey realized that her jedi tricks had to look like magic to this boy.

“My dad said I have to leave you alone, but my friend Dany told me you are a war hero! Miss Rey, is it true you destroyed the first order all by yourself and that you fought a sith lord?” He got more and more excited as he continued to bore holes into her with his questions. “Is it true you have a lightsaber? A golden one?”

At the mention of the so called sith lord, a sharp pain went through her heart.

“He wasn’t a sith.” She snapped harshly over her shoulder.

Jacub jumped back, his eyes large. Rey sighed and took a deep breath. She motioned for him to come closer.

“I’m sorry, he wasn’t a sith lord. He was a good man trapped by the dark side and in the end, he turned his back on it. He was a good man and I-,” _I loved him. I admired him. I adored him. “_ I miss him a lot.”

“Sooo…” Jacub carefully prodded like the nosy kid he simply was, while he kicked small pebbles with his feet. “You weren’t enemies?”

Rey wanted to vehemently protest at that, but then she thought about it. When they first met, they _were_ enemies. They were enemies for a rather long time and somehow, they changed from enemies to two lost souls seeking comfort in each other, only to be torn apart again.

Rey sat down in the sand and put the tools away. “No, we were enemies. At the beginning.”

Jacub looked confused at her statement. Of course, in his young mind it didn’t make sense. Why would enemies ever be anything but enemies? It was absurd, she understood.

“But you fought him? Like, really fought him with your lightsaber?”

The way his eyes were as large as little plates, and the excitement shining in them, made Rey smile. She hadn’t smiled in months.

“Yes, countless times, but in the end, we stood side by side and fought together.”

And just like that, she found herself sitting in the sand with Jacub across from her, staring at her in complete awe as she told him about Leia Organa and the legendary Luke Skywalker, about Han Solo and the Falcon. About their battle on Crait and how she fought emperor Snoke in his throne room. Jacub hung onto her every word and was jumping and throwing his arms when the suspense got too much for him to handle.

“And the sith- I mean, Ben? Why did he turn to the light in the end, miss Rey?”

She sighed and looked at Jacub. “Even the best jedi can be persuaded by the dark side, it’s never just black and white, never just light and dark. Ben, he was very powerful, and the dark side wanted him his whole life. It shaped him, molded him and in the end, won over him but never completely.”

The terrible knowledge that her own grandfather had been the cause of Ben’s suffering made her still sick to this day. She hadn’t regretted destroying her last living relative, she had done it for the world, but she also did it for Ben.

“So, Ben wasn’t evil?”

Rey shook her head. “No, he was never evil. He was a good man.”

“Jacub! Jacub, there you are!”

Jacub’s mother, a friendly woman with kind eyes and dark hair, held the skirt of her dress up, while she hurried across the sand towards them.

“Jacub, there you are. I have been worried sick! You didn’t answer the first twenty times I called for you.”

She scolded her son and he sheepishly looked at Rey, scratching the back of his head. “I’m sorry, mother. But, miss Rey told me about her adventures! It was the coolest thing I ever heard about!”

He jumped up and grabbed the old pipe, making swirls with it and noises, Rey assumed, were supposed to be of activated lightsabers.

“She defeated the first order all by herself and told me about Luke Skywalker, mom! She met him in person, he trained her, _the_ Luke Skywalker!”

Bemused, the mother watched Jacub run around for a while, letting out his energy before he would throw the table around during dinner in his excitement.

“I am sorry for my son, Rey. We told him not to bother you-,”

“It’s fine.” Rey got to her feet and dusted off her pants. “He’s a good boy. I envy you.”

_Because for one tiny second, when I was in Ben’s arms, I saw myself as you. With laughing, happy children around us._

Rey cleared her throat. “I better get going, then.”

“Why don’t you stay with us? I bet Jacub would love to have you as a guest.”

She offered kindly and looked over to where her son was now dueling one of the water pipes for glory.

“You have helped us so much, but only if you want to, of course.”

Rey wanted to decline the offer, but then she looked at Jacub. He was laughing and giggling in sheer joy and jumped up and down. She looked at his mother, her gentle brown eyes were so much like Leia’s and then Rey thought about the empty moist farm she would return to.

She shouldered her tools. “I would love to join you.”

“You can do it, just concentrate.”

“What… do you- think… I’m doing?!”

Ben felt like his head was about to explode, as he concentrated on the orange in front of him. The kriffing thing wouldn’t budge. Sweat dripped down the bridge of his nose and he was shaking from head to toe with the sheer effort. It wouldn’t even role over, no matter how hard he tried. With a grunt of sheer exhaustion, Ben fell onto his back, panting.

Maz sighed and jumped onto her feet. “And you wanted to start with a chair.”

She grabbed a bottle of cold water and gave it to him, which he greedily emptied in two big gulps. Next, he took the towel she offered and wiped his drenched face. Ben sat up and hit the ground with his fist in sheer frustration. Two days of hard work and nothing, no way of reaching out to Rey with the force or any other method.

“Ben, don’t get frustrated.” Maz warned, sitting down next to him. “It’ll make things harder for you.”

“Not being able to tell Rey I’m alive and well makes it hard. I don’t give a kriff about my powers, all I want is to tell her I’m here and she is not alone, but I _can’t_.”

“I know, boy.” She patted him on the sweaty back and wiped her hand on his trousers. “You should really change.”

Ben gave her a look that was saying ‘ _are you serious now?_ ’ but Maz simply shrugged and got to her feet. She put her hands on her hips, tapping impatiently with her tiny foot.

“Come on, Solo, I meant what I said. Get up and change, I think you need a change of scenery.”

Ben didn’t need a second invitation and got to his feet. His legs were working fine by now and so did his balance. He could walk straight without getting out of breath within seconds. He quickly changed into another tunic and followed the pirate-queen out of the room. They walked down a long hallway made of obsidian black stone and when Maz pushed the heavy wooden door open, he was greeted by black sand beaches, silver water and sunshine. Maz closed the door behind him. Ben knew this place.

“Aceso…”

He read a lot about the mythical planet Aceso with its obsidian beaches and silver waters. It was linked to century-old legends of being a nexus point for immense healing powers.

“Come on, I’ll show you something.”

She waved for him to follow and they made their path down to the black beach. Ben’s bare feet touched the sand and he halted a moment. It was cool and smooth despite the sun high in the sky.

“So, this is where you found me?”

“Here?” Maz snorted. “No, this is where I brought you after I found you stark naked on Exegol.”

So, he had returned in the same place he died, very poetic. “How did you find me then, Maz? Exegol isn’t necessarily the first place I would have looked for a dead man.”

She stared out onto the silver sea. “Leia told me where to find you. It took me a few days of searching, but I found you and dragged your naked behind all the way to Aceso. I knew, if there would be one place to get you back on your giant feet, it would be here.”

Ben understood. His rapid recovery was because of Aceso. If not for it’s mythical healing powers, he’d probably be in a coma for months, so his body could recover.

“Thank you, Maz.” He looked down at her and put a hand on her shoulder. “Without you, I wouldn’t be here now.”

She just patted his large fingers with her small hand. “Don’t be ridiculous, boy. Your mother would have throttled me in my sleep if I didn’t.” She bent down and let her fingers slide through the sand, before she straightened again. “Now, sit down and take a while to recover. Oh, and Ben-,”

With lightning fast movement, Maz turned and hurled a sharp, black rock directly at his head. Ben moved out of instinct, ducked away and stopped the rock an inch before it gauged out his eye. It hovered in the air and then fell back onto the sand. Force… he had used the force.

Maz smirked. “See? You just needed a change of scenery.”

Ben turned back to the silver water and watched it for a long while. He knew he wasn’t strong enough to connect with Rey through the force. He had stopped a stone out of reflex but hadn’t been able to lift a damn orange. If he wanted to find Rey, he’d have to do it the old way. The Solo way.

“Maz!” Ben whirled around. “Do we have a working communication system?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well… I mean, who is in for another chapter? I am so fucking lit for this story, it ails my soul and wounded reylo heart and stacks my hopes for reylo continuation through other authors and I. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter and let me tell you this, I am BLOWN away by the amazing response and feedback you people give to me! I am so humbled and honored, I cannot express it enough! :-) You guys are simply the best! 
> 
> You know the drill, leave me a comment, tell me what you think – what do you want to see in the next chapters? What are your OTP tropes for these two? Subscribe so you can witness the crazy journey and leave me a kudo! 
> 
> Side Note: Aceso is not a real planet in the SW lore, it is something I purely made up, but Aceso is the Greek goddess of the healing process, which I found perfect for a place like that.  
> I don’t know if I will manage to upload before New Year’s Eve, so just in case, I wish you all a great start into 2020, with luck, love, success and happiness as your companion throughout the new year. May all your wishes come true!  
> Love you all! – xoxo Alessandra


	4. Across the stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Across the stars, two halves finally get back together...

_The belonging you seek_   
_Chapter 4_   
_Across the stars_

Ben shouldered the bag with spare clothes, a blaster and provision on his shoulder and took one last look around the room. This was it, the time to say goodbye. Ben knew Maz was already getting the ship ready for his departure. She had sneaked out early in the morning before the sun was even up and did, only the force knows what, out there. Ben hadn’t bothered to ask and Maz hadn’t deemed it important enough to tell him, so he simply let her. He trusted her, his mother had trusted his life upon the old pirate-queen and if his mother had, so would he. Ben closed the door behind him, and the feeling of closure hung heavy in the air. He walked down the obsidian hallway, while a feeling told him, it would be the last time seeing the castle.

Outside, Maz was still busy fussing around with whatever she still found to fuss over on board. Ben stopped in front of the lowered bridge of the ship and studied it. It was small, had dents everywhere and patches of metal of several different colors. When he looked inside, Ben’s brows shot up when he saw the sheer amount of _things_ stuffed into the tiny ship. Was that… was that a storm trooper uniform? Stolen goods of her many adventures, without any doubt. Ben walked up and stuck his head inside the ship, calling out for her.

“Maz? What-,” His eyes fell on what looked like a century old shovel. “Is all this?”

“I wanted you to have everything you need.”

Her voice was muffled and came from somewhere in the cockpit to his right. Maz appeared in the door, if Ben didn’t know better, she was nervous. In a dramatic gesture, she threw her arms up and turned her back on him.

“The force knows in what kind of trouble you manage to get yourself caught in, Solo.”

He quickly put the shovel back in its place and shrugged. “Point taken.”

Ben followed her into the crammed cockpit, where she showed him the secure communication channel he could use without other ships picking up his signal and stay under the radar. After all, he was Kylo Ren, supreme leader and persona non grata for most of the galaxy and he certainly wasn’t in any shape to get involved in a fight. If he wanted to contact the only people who might know where Rey was, it had to be under the condition of anonymity.

“I repaired the cloaking function this morning, it should work fine now.”

“It should?” Ben really didn’t like the sound of _that_. “What do you mean with ‘ _it should’_?”

Maz scoffed. “This ship is over fifty years old, Ben. Of course, it’s not going to work like damn clockwork.” She patted the steel of the cockpit with adoration in her eyes, nonetheless. “Geraldine is the best ship I’ve ever had. She’ll get you to wherever you need to go.”

A wrinkly orange finger pressed down on a blue button and the hologram map appeared.

“We are here.” The map zoomed in on the biggest of four planets in the system. “I haven’t received any communication signals here on Aceso. I think the magnetic field is too strong for anything to get through. As soon as you jump into hyperspace, you should receive a signal and, in return, be able to send one.”

Maz turned and twisted the map until a small red planet was the only one left visible.

“There is an old resistance base on Pyron. Maybe you’ll find a few resistance fighters still stationed there, who can help you make contact with the headquarters.”

Ben frowned. “And you think it’s a good idea for me to walk straight into a resistance base?”

Maz shrugged. “Then don’t get caught. You’re a Solo, after all.”

It was awkward, hearing someone call him Solo. All his life, he fought against the name, tried to hate who he really was deep down, because Ben knew, he had his father’s heart and his mother’s mind. Hearing Maz saying it out loud made it real. He _was_ a Solo. Not Kylo Ren, not Vader’s heir… he was just _Ben Solow_ now. The stern look on her face loosened and changed into a much more gentle one. They stood in silence, cramped in the tiny cockpit of the ship, before Maz sharply turned on her heel.

“Off you go, Solo. Get your girl.”

The pirate-queen scuffled out of the cockpit and quickly made her way down the bridge. Ben looked at the pilot’s seat for a moment, before he ran after her. With his long legs, he caught up with her with easily, despite his still rather weak state.

“Maz, wait a second.”

She stopped and stiffly turned, making an annoyed face even though Ben knew it was just a façade. Her rough exterior was mostly a show to keep people at arm’s length, and not show how much she actually cared, but deep down, Maz was an empathetic and gentle-hearted person.

“What is it, Solo? Go, get your girl, what are you waiting for?” She snapped, but her voice quivered a little.

“For this.”

Ben knelt down on one knee and wrapped his arms around the tiny woman and pulled her into a tight hug. Maz only fought it for a second, before she, too, put her arms around his shoulders. He didn’t know how long he knelt there on the black sand, and only when Maz loosened her arms around his neck, he finally let go.

“Maz, without you, I-,” His throat became tight. “I hope we’ll see each other again, soon.”

She put a gentle hand on his cheek, the same cheek she had hit when he first regained consciousness and smiled.

“I hope so, too, my boy.”

She blinked the tears away furiously and shooed him away. “Go, go, find Rey. Find your love, Ben. You deserve it like nobody else does.”

Ben waved Maz goodbye as the doors of the bridge closed. This was it. Admittedly, the pilot’s seat was rather small for his big frame, his knees bumped into various levers and buttons. It would do, he wouldn’t stay inside this ship forever.

Ben programmed the autopilot for Pyron and watched Aceso’s silver waters disappear beneath him, until they were out of his sight. He entered space with a concerning rocking of the ship, but he trusted Maz’s word. This wreck of a ship would get him to where he needed to be. To Rey.

Pyron was a small planet covered in thick forests and mountains, perfect for hiding from first order ships. Ben entered the atmosphere and deactivated his communication systems. If resistance fighters were still on Pyron, he didn’t want them to pick up on his presence just yet. He followed Maz’s instructions and landed the ship on a stony platoon, about two miles away from where the base was hidden inside the many mountains of Pyron.

Inside the bag Maz had prepared for him, he found a holster, a blaster and a dark brown cape. Perfect to tarnish him from unwanted eyes. While he fastened the holster around his hips, his hand reached to the spot where usually his lightsaber would be. The he remembered - he had _no_ saber. He had thrown his cross saber into the water and the two blue sabers were with Rey. He had a blaster and that would have to suffice for now.

The air outside was clean and cold, little white clouds of mist formed from his breath. Water dripped from the trees around him. This place had something surreal about it, the echo of water dripping all around him through the forests, the way the fog covered the ground and hung thick in the air. There were no noises, no birds, no wildlife, no wind… nothing but the forest around him.

He quietly followed the compass in his hand down the trail path. It was mostly overgrown and hadn’t been used in many months, possibly years. Maz had told him where he would find the entrance to the old base, it was hidden within the stone formation. He had hiked down the trail and reached the mountain side with ease. The rusty door barely hung on the hinges anymore. With his back pressed against the wet stone, Ben carefully looked around the corner and checked the dark corridor. No guards, the frugal light bulbs dangling from the ceiling were either broken or dark.

Ben relaxed and put the blaster back into its holster. The base was empty. He couldn’t deny that he was frustrated, deep down he had hoped for resistance fighters. It would have made things a hundred times easier. Now, he had to find another way. Jumping from one planet to another with resistance bases on them wasn’t the best approach, either. He couldn’t contact the pilot, what was his name again? Poe Dameron, or the stormtrooper who called himself Finn now. They would throw him into a cell until he would be sentenced to death once more. No, he couldn’t rely on their help, even though they were probably the only people who possibly knew where Rey was.

Ben found an old intelligence room with rusty monitors inside, overgrown with moss and stacked against the stone. A round table with six chairs was placed in the middle of the round cave, with an old map still on it. The paper was wet and welted, the ink had long vanished, but when Ben studied it closer, he made out a very familiar form. The starkiller base.

Memories of his first encounter with Rey came to his mind. He had been so… _fascinated_ by her. He couldn’t stop staring at her peaceful, sleeping form. He had crouched on the floor on purpose, he didn’t know why, but he didn’t want to frighten her. Intimidate her, yes, but he never wanted her to fear him. Now, here he was, after so many fights, it felt like a lifetime ago, when he was Kylo Ren and she was just a scavenger in his possession with the map inside her head. It had taken two years and death for them to finally accept, to finally _act_ on their feelings. Ben wasn’t really a genius when it came to technology - he was no Chewie. The wookiee always managed to fix everything somehow, but the more he studied the old communication system, he was sure he could get it to work again.

He had to readjust the cables, wire them over and bridge them to the generator. It also took a good kick against the damn thing, but with a shrill beeping sound, it came to life. He sent a silent prayer, whomever was listening, and sent a message to the only person he trusted and knew, wouldn’t want to see his head roll in a trial when he saw him. _Hopefully_.

Poe Dameron hurried after Chewbacca as the wookiee stormed down the hangar.

“What do you mean you have to go? We are in the middle of negotiations, you can’t-,”

Poe ran around the wookiee and put himself right in front of him, hands outstretched, as if he wanted to stop him by sheer will power.

“Chewie, damn it, stop!”

The wookiee looked down at Poe’s hands for a moment and simply pushed him aside, walking straight past him towards the falcon.

“Did you just- are you serious?” Poe turned and ran after Chewie. “Chewie, we need you here, you can’t just leave.”

Chewie growled and roared over his shoulder, disregarding a very confused and very angry Poe.

“Oh, and what is so important that you have to leave in the middle of the meeting?”

Chewie flayed his furry arms and motioned to the falcon, while he argued away with Poe.

“Aha, a mysterious message, well if that’s the case-,” The commander said in mock understanding, nodding his head in agreement, before his face got serious again. “You still can’t leave us hanging, Chewie. They like you-,” Another roar. “Not as much as you!”

Chewie growled and waved his hand at Poe, like the pilot was a fly the wookiee wanted to get rid of.

Poe tried to stop him, but to no avail. “Tell me at least where you’re going, in case you need help!”

Chewie roared over his shoulder and the bridge closed behind the wookiee. Poe watched as the falcon disappeared from his view within seconds.

“Pyron? What on earth do you want on Pyron?!”

Ben watched as the falcon touched the ground near the entrance of the old resistance base. He was nervous, no, he was kriffing terrified. The last time he saw Chewbacca was on Starkiller base where the wookiee witnessed how Ben had killed his own father, Chewbacca’s best friend. He wasn’t sure what Rey had told him about their last fight on Exegol, if they had spoken at all about it. Ben had so many memories of the wookiee, of riding his shoulders as a child and playing with his toys with him.

His heart pounded in his chest as he watched Chewie descend and for a while, they just stared at each other from the distance. Ben kept his hand far away from his own blaster, just in case, watching cautiously for any weapons on his old friend and patron. Ben blinked and, one second Chewie was still standing by the falcon and in the next, he _wasn’t_. The wookiee came running towards him like a damn freight ship and with the force of a blast shot, Ben was swooped up into strong arms. Chewie roared, growled and grumbled while he flung Ben around like a damn rag doll in his embrace.

“Chewie, okay, Chewie- put me down-,”

It took another few moments until he was finally released from the tight embrace and was promptly placed on his feet. Hands still on Ben’s shoulders, the wookiee shook him back and forth until he felt dizzy. Ben was bombarded with questions, _obviously_ Rey had told Chewie about the things that happened on Exegol.

“Chewie, could you please stop shaking me-, I feel dizzy.”

Chewie stopped shaking him immediately, but kept his hands hand on Ben’s shoulders, as if he would disappear any given moment, if he let go now.

The falcon looked like the day he sat in it when he was a kid. Chewbacca watched as Ben motionlessly stood in the cockpit, hands on the pilot’s chair where Han had used to sit on. Ben narrowed his eyes as he noticed something strange. What the- was that a bird’s nest? Ben looked over his shoulder and gestured at the nest.

“Explanation?”

Chewie grumbled and motioned around. Ben noticed other nests and torn out cables. The nests were obviously something Chewbacca didn’t want to talk about, so Ben decided, he didn’t want to know. Chewie grabbed a can with food and a drink and offered both to him.

“Chewie, I am sorry, for everything-,”

Chewie made a soft noise in the back of his throat and ruffled Ben’s hair. It made him smile, Chewie had done it all the time to make him laugh, when Ben had been a kid.

“I need your help. I know, it’s not my place to ask, but I need to find Rey. I know no one has seen her since our last battle on Exegol. Do you know where she is?”

Ben watched as Chewie jumped to his feet and made his way into the cockpit, where he rummaged around for a while, before Ben heard a very familiar noise. The noise of a communicator contacting another communication system.

Rey stared into the twin suns slowly setting on the horizon. Another day, another evening without a promise of change for the day to come. How she _despised_ it. The dinner with Jacub and his family had been nice. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, she felt normal. Out of place, but normal. But the part of her that had been torn out of her soul with Ben’s death, was gaping open even wider after that dinner. She had imagined Ben that evening, imagined sitting across from him at the table and eating with him. It would be so mundane and simple, but it was everything she ever wanted for herself.

Today, she had finished with the water pipes for Jacub’s family and secretly, she was afraid of tomorrow. She was afraid of the memories tomorrow would bring. She closed her eyes… where was he? _Ben_.

_Be with me… please… be with me. Ben!_

She sent her desperation, her need to finally see him, into the force, concentrated on the empty feeling inside of her and then she felt it. A _resonance_. Her eyes flew open. There was something inside of her, in the force, exploding and shaping, coming back to life like a flame that had been so close to going out, rekindled. Warmth spread through her limbs and Rey jumped to her feet. Her entire body vibrated, the ground shook beneath her feet. It was… no, that wasn’t the force. The ground was actually shaking! She looked up into the sky and with a thundering explosion of light, she saw a ship breaking out of hyperspace and entering the atmosphere. Ans she felt his presence, as clear as anything inside of it. His force signature was like a stream of blue light all around it and then she heard his voice.

_Rey!_

_Ben_!

The closer the ship came to the ground, she could make out the familiar shape of the falcon. Rey began to sprint, her feet carried her over the sand, she jumped and stumbled but didn’t care, she ran and ran, faster and faster and always kept her eyes on the falcon. She lost her balance and picked herself up, slid down the dunes and sprinted towards the ship, where its engines whirled up the sand.

The bridge was lowered and a tall body, so familiar to her, dressed in dark clothes she would have recognized anywhere, sprinted down the bridge himself. Directly towards her.

“Ben!”

Tears began to run freely as they ran towards each other. Desperation and fear, gut wrenching fear that this was all a dream and she would never reach him in time before this beautiful dream would end, spurred her on to run faster.

They collided in full force, but neither of them cared. Ben pulled her into his arms and Rey buried her hands in his hair.

She kissed him, deeply and all consuming, while he whirled her around in his arms. Her feet didn’t touch the ground, her arms wrapped around his neck, his hands held onto her waist, as they kissed. They only broke apart, when neither Rey nor Ben had any oxygen left and needed to breathe and even then, they didn’t part. Rey cried, she tasted salt and sand. She couldn’t care _less_. She pressed kisses upon his temples, his forehead and cheeks, caressed his hair in sheer disbelief that he was, truly and really, here with her. Both of them felt as their bond came back to life with a roar.

Rey cried and muffled her screams of pure agony and joy on his shoulder, while she let it all out. Months of pain, agony and longing. Pure, heart-warming and soul-shaking joy of being reunited with him. Ben cooed words of adoration and comfort into her hair, while his strong arms held her tightly to his own body.

He was back, her soulmate, her other half… Ben was back, and Rey was finally whole again. She would never, ever let him go again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, guys… they finally have each other back and I am so, so happy with this chapter and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! 
> 
> You know the drill, my wonderful reylo peeps, leave me a comment, tell me what you guys think and subscribe, so you can witness what happens next!
> 
> I am logging off Ao3 for the next few days with New Year’s Eve and school starting on 6th of January already with a math exam about exponential functions to kick start my brain again after two weeks of winter break. :D I really need to study, I do, or else I’m going to write a fucking F, for all my European people a big fat 6, in it.^^ 
> 
> I wish you all the best for 2020, may 2020 be the year of reylo, of sticking together despite TROS and keeping the community as fucking awesome as it is now! May health, wealth, success, happiness and love be your companion every step you take! 
> 
> See you all in 2020! Much love, Alessandra

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, guys… I don’t even know how to start my AN here. I am… just speechless, I’m missing the correct words to express how I feel at the moment. I have already explained on my Tumblr that I do not believe that the movie is their end, not just because I wished so badly for these two to finally find their peace with each other, it wasn’t just the kiss and Ben’s smile, like he truly had been redeemed and could now start living in the present instead of the past. I’m honest with you guys, I haven’t seen TROS yet, not to sound stupid, I just can’t deal with it mentally right now. I saw the reylo scenes and I know what happens during the movie. If I build in mistakes and you have seen the movie already, just tell me and I will correct them. :-)
> 
> Also, as probably a lot of you know already, I am German, so excuse any grammar issues, I try my hardest, but I do make mistakes. Once again, if you find any, I will correct them.  
> This story as of now, will not exclude the happenings of TROS, it is a conclusion and continuation of Rey’s and Ben’s story and what I think will happen after, because who is any movie director (cough… J.J - who the f*** does he think he is - Abrams… cough) to tell us, the fans, what happens after the credit rolls, if not explicitly given. 
> 
> I hope this will give all of the reylo community, which is simply fucking awesome and has been a pleasure to be part of and always will be part of, a little hope and show them – it’s not over. 
> 
> Visit me on Tumblr.: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/callmealessandra
> 
> Enjoy the story, subscribe, leave a kudo and a review, tell me what you think, and I will see you all in the next chapter! Xoxo Alessandra


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